I woke with your scent
still warm on my skin
the delicate taste of your
tongue on my lips
the memory flashed bright
bringing a smile
heightening my sense of life
if only for a moment.
Written in 1989(?) by Sue
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
From a friend (written to me, not by me)
Konichiwa - my friend
spinning visions of endless
streams of white scooters, trendy
none the less, summers
in provo can be dangerous
every friendships a risk
I shared my life with you
dreams, hopes, fears, our
common cause
goodbye doesn't count with
us. our lives twine in
never ending hellos, boxes
of memories on my dresser
remind me of dances undanced
and songs unsung. life's plan
is often cruel. a song in my
heart waits for you.
where does the wind carry
our footprints?
Written in Sept 1986 by Ken Nishimoto
I have not obtained his permission to post this, however it is was written for me as a gift, and by that I assume permission to use it at my discretion.
spinning visions of endless
streams of white scooters, trendy
none the less, summers
in provo can be dangerous
every friendships a risk
I shared my life with you
dreams, hopes, fears, our
common cause
goodbye doesn't count with
us. our lives twine in
never ending hellos, boxes
of memories on my dresser
remind me of dances undanced
and songs unsung. life's plan
is often cruel. a song in my
heart waits for you.
where does the wind carry
our footprints?
Written in Sept 1986 by Ken Nishimoto
I have not obtained his permission to post this, however it is was written for me as a gift, and by that I assume permission to use it at my discretion.
Just write!
To write a poem, for me is hard.
I can't quite do a Hallmark card.
It makes me cry
and want to die.
"Just write," you say, "let down your guard."
Written in slight mockery to my creative writing teacher in Feb 1997
I can't quite do a Hallmark card.
It makes me cry
and want to die.
"Just write," you say, "let down your guard."
Written in slight mockery to my creative writing teacher in Feb 1997
Susanne
I am
S-urprised as the words tumble out
U-psetting the original flow of my far too
S-erious thoughts that cause me to feel
A-shamed at my own inadequacies.
N-ervously I fumble with pen in hand searching for
N-irvana and the
E-uphoric sense of accomplishment.
Written in 1997 by Susanne "sue" Mendenhall
S-urprised as the words tumble out
U-psetting the original flow of my far too
S-erious thoughts that cause me to feel
A-shamed at my own inadequacies.
N-ervously I fumble with pen in hand searching for
N-irvana and the
E-uphoric sense of accomplishment.
Written in 1997 by Susanne "sue" Mendenhall
ONE
Together we are everything.
Apart - we are lonely
while we struggle to believe
we are happy.
Written in July 1997 by Sue Mendenhall
Apart - we are lonely
while we struggle to believe
we are happy.
Written in July 1997 by Sue Mendenhall
Perfect Intentions
I was going through some old things and came across a folder that contained about 10 years of my writings.
Since writing is my form of creative self-expression, I thought I might jot some of my past writings down here to hopefully inspire me to write more.
I will start with this one as it is the only one I have ever had published:
Invisibly, the silver strings stretch
across the doorway, carefully
placed to trap the unwary prey.
High in the corner, the unobtrusive
spider patiently waits. Meticulously
planned, the soft yet sticky silk
seduces the oblivious fly into its
sensuous display of perfect intentions.
Written in July 1992 by Sue
Since writing is my form of creative self-expression, I thought I might jot some of my past writings down here to hopefully inspire me to write more.
I will start with this one as it is the only one I have ever had published:
Invisibly, the silver strings stretch
across the doorway, carefully
placed to trap the unwary prey.
High in the corner, the unobtrusive
spider patiently waits. Meticulously
planned, the soft yet sticky silk
seduces the oblivious fly into its
sensuous display of perfect intentions.
Written in July 1992 by Sue
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Evolution of my thoughts on A New Earth (from threads at Oprah.com)
Mar 19, 2008
I just noticed all the threads about how this book contradicts the bible and Christian teachings.
I am shocked at how threatened some people feel their thoughts (beliefs, ideologies, understandings) are by this book. It is a book, written by a man. Albeit, a really good book, it is still just a book, written by a man. And the comparisons to the bible, what is that about? Is the bible and all of its constituents threatened by a book, written by a man?
This leads me to believe that there must be something to this book. It has struck a chord with EGO, and EGO has come ready to defend itself.
Personally I believe that the Universe is on the verge of a very big shift. What that will look like? I don't know. I can feel it. I see how people are reacting to it every day, some are scared, trying to defend their 2000 year old religion, others are extremely depressed, verging on exiting this life, and others still are becoming more and more aware... AWAKE.
It is a beautiful thing!
Thank you Eckhart for writing this book. Thank you Oprah for bringing it into so much light.
Mar 30, 2008
Life is the Dancer, We are the Dance
In thinking about the meaning of this phrase, I began to wonder: Is consciousness dependant on the combination of the body and I AM? We know that the body requires life for consciousness to exist, how about the other way around? Does life require the body in order for consciousness to exist? And if that is so, how do we know that?
Apr 1, 2008
Re: Life is the Dancer, We are the Dance
I have come to the conclusion that our physical consciousness (awareness of ourselves as a living breathing human that goes about the processes of life, interacting with other living breathing sentient beings) is not the same concept as PRESENCE, AWARENESS, BEING IN THE MOMENT, STAYING IN THE NOW form of consciousness that we experience in glimpses now yet is all that there is outside of our identification with our physical form and attributes.
Consciousness exists independent of our bodies in a form that is unfathomable to our minds... and has no ability to think of "itself" since it is not separate, it is ALL... totality.
This has been a trippy thing to think about. Perhaps I should stop... and just enjoy the moment.
Apr 2, 2008
Roles are just roles, unless they become the identity of the person, then they become unconscious.
Role playing can be fun, like if you play an imaginary game with your kids, you are playing the role of the queen and they are in some other role. You know you are not a queen, you are just playing one... thus you are concious of the role you are playing. For some reason in reality, we tend to take our roles seriously.
I don't know if you have kids or not, but if you do, you might relate to this. When you had your first child, did you immediately feel like MOM? Or did that still seem like a title reserved for your own mother? For me, it took awhile. I knew it was a role. and then one day, that role took over. I identified with it. I became unconscious. I can remember clearly how I saw that role 5 years ago (to the day) when my daughter was born. I felt unworthy to play the role. At this time I wish I would have been able to hold on to that humility. It would have made it less painful to experience it again just recently when the role was removed as my identity and became just a role that I play.
Apr 13, 2008
Yesterday was a mind-blowing A-HA day for me
The past couple of months I have been reading a lot, including, but not limited to ANE. I have been reading for years, just really concentrated reading recently. All the information was like gathering dominoes and setting them up one at a time... and yesterday it all came together and the pattern was ready to be revealed and it was amazing. I had something like 20 epiphanies that occurred over the 15 hours I was awake, all while in an extremely conscious and present mind.
I think the most common theme in the whole day was that fear keeps us from who we really are. Fear of the unknown, fear of the future, fear of others finding out our dark secrets, fear that we will find out our dark secrets, fear that there are dark secrets to find out, fear of fear, ... all of it nonsense. There is absolutely nothing to fear. Once fear is eliminated, Love is all that is left. And in a state of love all things are possible. In the NOW, there is no fear, only peace... and peace is love.
While in this glorious state of NOW, the Universe made perfect sense to me. I knew this was like a dream that would be swept away unless I somehow contained it, so I wrote it all down. Now I am left with new questions:
Evolve or die, why?
What is the value of human evolution?
If humanity dies off, what comes next?
If humanity dies off, and evolution continues no matter what, then what is the TRUE value of human evolution?
Why must we evolve?
Will we not evolve whether we think we play a role in it or not?
If we each make the conscious choice now to stop evolving, will we truly stop?
Are we truly free to choose to evolve, or is that part of the illusion?
It seems that evolution has occurred unconsciously for billions of years... just on this planet. So what, if anything, is different now?
I am not religious. I do not believe in a diety external to the Universe. I believe the Universe is everything, completely contained and inextricably intertwined. There is nothing separate, it is more than a connection, much more. Not that my religious views matter, but I am looking for opinions to the above questions, I am open to any opinion, although I am not that interested in a heaven/hell or devil theory of any kind.
Apr 22, 2008
What use is this mind?
A question was asked why do we need the mind if the whole point is to be like our pet dog... or something to that effect.
Last week I was pondering this same thing. I wondered if my dog was in the NOW and I was practicing being in the NOW, and the NOW is ultimately where we strive to be, and ego (thinking mind) keeps getting in the way, why was this thinking mind necessary?
Evolution is an unfolding, humans are but one fold (so to speak). The thinking mind evolved to help us further survive, be able to think our way out of challenging situations. Over much time, the mind took over, and we became trapped in it. Even though we now are beginning to see through it, it still serves us.
A dog thinks only from what he has already experienced. If you have trained your dog to fetch the ball, then when you say "ball" he will react. If you have not trained your dog to fetch the ball, then it is meaningless. A dog's brain is not like a human brain.
A human can imagine things they have never experienced before. A human can create things, events, ideas without ever having been exposed to them before. We know this because of how technology progresses, if this were not true we would never have survived as a species, the first humans would have been wiped out before they ever got started. So we needed this brain to further the unfolding... and we still do.
We need our wonderful thinking, creating, imaginative brains to help us create a better world. From where we stand we can see that humanity is on the brink of wiping itself out. We know that there must be a better answer... and there is... and each and everyone of us hold that answer... THAT is why we need this wonderful brain, to use it to its most amazing potential. Not for the ego (little me, separate, alone, misunderstood, fear), that is where we have been stuck, but for us (unified, aware, love).
Apr 23, 2008
The question was about Jill Taylor. If our left-brain (ego) can die, and our consciouness resides in the right brain, then can't it die as well? What happens to our consciousness when we die? The questioner said that Jill Taylor says she is now right-brained. (It seems that she is getting some hearsay and is repeating what she interpreted Oprah to say the other night on the webcast).
The doctor (Jill Bolte Taylor) had a stroke temporarily disabling her left brain. She has use of her whole brain; she now understands and knows how to use it all. A person cannot be completely right brained and be coherent. The left half of our brains is the thinking, logical, linear side. We must have use of it in order to talk, type, understand, and communicate.
I recommend watching her video; it is out there on You Tube and other such sites. In it she tells how she had no use of her body. She couldn't dial a phone or talk to anyone. The reason she can speak of her experience and explain it is because she has use of her left brain. She now knows how to use her whole brain instead of being used by it.
As far as what happens to our consciousness when we die. I think Eckhart has touched on this, ever so lightly. Consciousness is the eternal oneness of all that IS. Our personal awareness of Consciousness is done in our brains. We use the tools that we have as humans. Our brains when used properly allow us to see, feel, know, be aware of the greater connection to all that IS. It is not something we can speak of and still have it remain as truth. It is incomprehensible to us because as amazing as our brains are, they are still limited by this human form. It is something that our right brains experience constantly and our left brain cannot comprehend. This would make is seem like predominately left-brained people would struggle with this more, but that is not true. Our culture (specifically western culture) has trained us to be a tool to our left-brains (even predominately right-brained folks). Our left brains think, reason, control, understand... and we have come to believe that this is the best way... it makes us (humans) greater than all other life forms on earth. It has given us the ability to manipulate our environments, create amazing technology, and given us the impression that we (humans) are the be-all-end-all of the solar system. In the process, we have limited our experience. Becoming aware of all that IS (conscious of being conscious) we expand our capabilities, we understand our connection with all that IS, we begin to act cohesively as the whole of humanity and as a unified whole we improve our conditions and we thrive; this is opposed to seeing ourselves as separate, isolated, alone, misunderstood individuals which has caused us to believe that we must defend ourselves in order to survive.
Eckhart speaks of this work as being essential to the survival of the human species, this is because as long as we see ourselves as separate we will continue to destroy ourselves, as soon as we see ourselves as connected and whole, we will know what action to take to not only survive as a species, but to THRIVE. This is what is meant by Evolve or Die.
Apr 26, 2008
Q: If life is the Dancer and if we don't live our life, life lives us ... does that mean we do not have free will?
Great question. In my opinion, both from contemplative thought as well as meditation is that we have no true free will. Which is why Eckhart said on the web-cast so many weeks ago that if humanity does not survive, it is not the end of the Universe; another way will be found. However, it is in the unfolding for humanity to be a part of this Conscious evolution, and so here we are. Enjoy the ride.
I just noticed all the threads about how this book contradicts the bible and Christian teachings.
I am shocked at how threatened some people feel their thoughts (beliefs, ideologies, understandings) are by this book. It is a book, written by a man. Albeit, a really good book, it is still just a book, written by a man. And the comparisons to the bible, what is that about? Is the bible and all of its constituents threatened by a book, written by a man?
This leads me to believe that there must be something to this book. It has struck a chord with EGO, and EGO has come ready to defend itself.
Personally I believe that the Universe is on the verge of a very big shift. What that will look like? I don't know. I can feel it. I see how people are reacting to it every day, some are scared, trying to defend their 2000 year old religion, others are extremely depressed, verging on exiting this life, and others still are becoming more and more aware... AWAKE.
It is a beautiful thing!
Thank you Eckhart for writing this book. Thank you Oprah for bringing it into so much light.
Mar 30, 2008
Life is the Dancer, We are the Dance
In thinking about the meaning of this phrase, I began to wonder: Is consciousness dependant on the combination of the body and I AM? We know that the body requires life for consciousness to exist, how about the other way around? Does life require the body in order for consciousness to exist? And if that is so, how do we know that?
Apr 1, 2008
Re: Life is the Dancer, We are the Dance
I have come to the conclusion that our physical consciousness (awareness of ourselves as a living breathing human that goes about the processes of life, interacting with other living breathing sentient beings) is not the same concept as PRESENCE, AWARENESS, BEING IN THE MOMENT, STAYING IN THE NOW form of consciousness that we experience in glimpses now yet is all that there is outside of our identification with our physical form and attributes.
Consciousness exists independent of our bodies in a form that is unfathomable to our minds... and has no ability to think of "itself" since it is not separate, it is ALL... totality.
This has been a trippy thing to think about. Perhaps I should stop... and just enjoy the moment.
Apr 2, 2008
Roles are just roles, unless they become the identity of the person, then they become unconscious.
Role playing can be fun, like if you play an imaginary game with your kids, you are playing the role of the queen and they are in some other role. You know you are not a queen, you are just playing one... thus you are concious of the role you are playing. For some reason in reality, we tend to take our roles seriously.
I don't know if you have kids or not, but if you do, you might relate to this. When you had your first child, did you immediately feel like MOM? Or did that still seem like a title reserved for your own mother? For me, it took awhile. I knew it was a role. and then one day, that role took over. I identified with it. I became unconscious. I can remember clearly how I saw that role 5 years ago (to the day) when my daughter was born. I felt unworthy to play the role. At this time I wish I would have been able to hold on to that humility. It would have made it less painful to experience it again just recently when the role was removed as my identity and became just a role that I play.
Apr 13, 2008
Yesterday was a mind-blowing A-HA day for me
The past couple of months I have been reading a lot, including, but not limited to ANE. I have been reading for years, just really concentrated reading recently. All the information was like gathering dominoes and setting them up one at a time... and yesterday it all came together and the pattern was ready to be revealed and it was amazing. I had something like 20 epiphanies that occurred over the 15 hours I was awake, all while in an extremely conscious and present mind.
I think the most common theme in the whole day was that fear keeps us from who we really are. Fear of the unknown, fear of the future, fear of others finding out our dark secrets, fear that we will find out our dark secrets, fear that there are dark secrets to find out, fear of fear, ... all of it nonsense. There is absolutely nothing to fear. Once fear is eliminated, Love is all that is left. And in a state of love all things are possible. In the NOW, there is no fear, only peace... and peace is love.
While in this glorious state of NOW, the Universe made perfect sense to me. I knew this was like a dream that would be swept away unless I somehow contained it, so I wrote it all down. Now I am left with new questions:
Evolve or die, why?
What is the value of human evolution?
If humanity dies off, what comes next?
If humanity dies off, and evolution continues no matter what, then what is the TRUE value of human evolution?
Why must we evolve?
Will we not evolve whether we think we play a role in it or not?
If we each make the conscious choice now to stop evolving, will we truly stop?
Are we truly free to choose to evolve, or is that part of the illusion?
It seems that evolution has occurred unconsciously for billions of years... just on this planet. So what, if anything, is different now?
I am not religious. I do not believe in a diety external to the Universe. I believe the Universe is everything, completely contained and inextricably intertwined. There is nothing separate, it is more than a connection, much more. Not that my religious views matter, but I am looking for opinions to the above questions, I am open to any opinion, although I am not that interested in a heaven/hell or devil theory of any kind.
Apr 22, 2008
What use is this mind?
A question was asked why do we need the mind if the whole point is to be like our pet dog... or something to that effect.
Last week I was pondering this same thing. I wondered if my dog was in the NOW and I was practicing being in the NOW, and the NOW is ultimately where we strive to be, and ego (thinking mind) keeps getting in the way, why was this thinking mind necessary?
Evolution is an unfolding, humans are but one fold (so to speak). The thinking mind evolved to help us further survive, be able to think our way out of challenging situations. Over much time, the mind took over, and we became trapped in it. Even though we now are beginning to see through it, it still serves us.
A dog thinks only from what he has already experienced. If you have trained your dog to fetch the ball, then when you say "ball" he will react. If you have not trained your dog to fetch the ball, then it is meaningless. A dog's brain is not like a human brain.
A human can imagine things they have never experienced before. A human can create things, events, ideas without ever having been exposed to them before. We know this because of how technology progresses, if this were not true we would never have survived as a species, the first humans would have been wiped out before they ever got started. So we needed this brain to further the unfolding... and we still do.
We need our wonderful thinking, creating, imaginative brains to help us create a better world. From where we stand we can see that humanity is on the brink of wiping itself out. We know that there must be a better answer... and there is... and each and everyone of us hold that answer... THAT is why we need this wonderful brain, to use it to its most amazing potential. Not for the ego (little me, separate, alone, misunderstood, fear), that is where we have been stuck, but for us (unified, aware, love).
Apr 23, 2008
The question was about Jill Taylor. If our left-brain (ego) can die, and our consciouness resides in the right brain, then can't it die as well? What happens to our consciousness when we die? The questioner said that Jill Taylor says she is now right-brained. (It seems that she is getting some hearsay and is repeating what she interpreted Oprah to say the other night on the webcast).
The doctor (Jill Bolte Taylor) had a stroke temporarily disabling her left brain. She has use of her whole brain; she now understands and knows how to use it all. A person cannot be completely right brained and be coherent. The left half of our brains is the thinking, logical, linear side. We must have use of it in order to talk, type, understand, and communicate.
I recommend watching her video; it is out there on You Tube and other such sites. In it she tells how she had no use of her body. She couldn't dial a phone or talk to anyone. The reason she can speak of her experience and explain it is because she has use of her left brain. She now knows how to use her whole brain instead of being used by it.
As far as what happens to our consciousness when we die. I think Eckhart has touched on this, ever so lightly. Consciousness is the eternal oneness of all that IS. Our personal awareness of Consciousness is done in our brains. We use the tools that we have as humans. Our brains when used properly allow us to see, feel, know, be aware of the greater connection to all that IS. It is not something we can speak of and still have it remain as truth. It is incomprehensible to us because as amazing as our brains are, they are still limited by this human form. It is something that our right brains experience constantly and our left brain cannot comprehend. This would make is seem like predominately left-brained people would struggle with this more, but that is not true. Our culture (specifically western culture) has trained us to be a tool to our left-brains (even predominately right-brained folks). Our left brains think, reason, control, understand... and we have come to believe that this is the best way... it makes us (humans) greater than all other life forms on earth. It has given us the ability to manipulate our environments, create amazing technology, and given us the impression that we (humans) are the be-all-end-all of the solar system. In the process, we have limited our experience. Becoming aware of all that IS (conscious of being conscious) we expand our capabilities, we understand our connection with all that IS, we begin to act cohesively as the whole of humanity and as a unified whole we improve our conditions and we thrive; this is opposed to seeing ourselves as separate, isolated, alone, misunderstood individuals which has caused us to believe that we must defend ourselves in order to survive.
Eckhart speaks of this work as being essential to the survival of the human species, this is because as long as we see ourselves as separate we will continue to destroy ourselves, as soon as we see ourselves as connected and whole, we will know what action to take to not only survive as a species, but to THRIVE. This is what is meant by Evolve or Die.
Apr 26, 2008
Q: If life is the Dancer and if we don't live our life, life lives us ... does that mean we do not have free will?
Great question. In my opinion, both from contemplative thought as well as meditation is that we have no true free will. Which is why Eckhart said on the web-cast so many weeks ago that if humanity does not survive, it is not the end of the Universe; another way will be found. However, it is in the unfolding for humanity to be a part of this Conscious evolution, and so here we are. Enjoy the ride.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
My Gratitude List
I am grateful for the abundance that is the Universe.
I am grateful for eyes that perceive the extravagence of color, shape, movement and form.
I am grateful for ears that perceive the subtle vibrations of all of Life.
I am grateful for a tongue that perceives the deliciousness of all that IS.
I am grateful for a throat that speaks with Love and Joy of the astounding experience that is Life.
I am grateful for a heart that courses Life blood throughout my physical form.
I am grateful for a brain that thinks, creates, reasons, accepts, understands, imagines, computes and dreams.
Everything that I need is provided by the Universe.
I am grateful for eyes that perceive the extravagence of color, shape, movement and form.
I am grateful for ears that perceive the subtle vibrations of all of Life.
I am grateful for a tongue that perceives the deliciousness of all that IS.
I am grateful for a throat that speaks with Love and Joy of the astounding experience that is Life.
I am grateful for a heart that courses Life blood throughout my physical form.
I am grateful for a brain that thinks, creates, reasons, accepts, understands, imagines, computes and dreams.
Everything that I need is provided by the Universe.
Friday, April 25, 2008
In the beginning...
What better way to begin this blog than with a post about my own neurotic behavior (of which I will be eternally grateful).
This has been a wonderful year filled with amazing growth. All of 2004-2007 was about filling my head with as much information on conspiracy theories, government corruption, and new world order as anyone could possibly shove into such a small space.
For Christmas 2007 my sister gave me a History Channel documentary DVD, “Decoding the Past: Doomsday 2012, The End of Days”. Seems to have fit right in with all the rest of my studies, continuing my spiral of fear; and yet it had quite the opposite effect. I found myself riding the Golden Spiral in the opposite direction, toward peace and enlightenment. I am not saying, or implying that I am enlightened, more that I am on the path (I don’t know where on the path, I just feel that I am on it).
In January, I decided it was time to weed out addictions. I started with alcohol, moved on to TV, was temporarily successful with coffee (I think that one needs more time), wheat, red meat, and slothfulness. It is not that I never watch TV or enjoy a burger, it is just that I do so MUCH less often. I really like the idea of moderation and I am really pleased with my successes so far.
During this process I have been reading multiple books on spirituality. I have been doing that for years, but now it is so much more intense. The concepts are alive for me now. I can read a short paragraph and get more out of those few words than I have gotten out of entire books in the past. I think the most powerful book was “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle.
Yeah, I jumped on the Oprah bandwagon, and I don’t regret it. I had started recording her shows in January and watching the ones that were of interest, usually about one each week. She started talking about the book and the webcast she was going to be making available. I figured it couldn’t hurt (actually at the time I thought of myself as pretty spiritually advanced, I assumed that the book would have something I could learn from it, although I doubted it would be much... LOL), so I ordered the book and read it. I loved it!
One thing I have definitely learned about myself is that before reading the book, the image I had of myself was so warped that now all I can do is laugh outloud at how obnoxious I must have seemed to everyone around me. I offer my deepest apologies to anyone and everyone that I ever interacted with. What a boorish, self-righteous, abhorrent SOB I was… might still be, but now I am aware of it which makes it much easier to remove. The webcast is still ongoing, two more classes. I really enjoy listening to and watching Mr. Tolle, he seems so at peace and excited about Life.
In any case, all of this personal change is the inspiration for this blog. Several times a week new concepts become very clear to me and then I call up my sister to tell her all about it. She says she enjoys hearing about it all, and I trust she is being honest with me, it just seems like there may be a different way to share my thoughts. I enjoy writing, but do not do it often. So instead of calling my sister with these new “epiphanies” I decided to write them down and put them in a blog.
I look forward to the day when I can read pages and pages of past writings and see very clearly the direction of my path.
This has been a wonderful year filled with amazing growth. All of 2004-2007 was about filling my head with as much information on conspiracy theories, government corruption, and new world order as anyone could possibly shove into such a small space.
For Christmas 2007 my sister gave me a History Channel documentary DVD, “Decoding the Past: Doomsday 2012, The End of Days”. Seems to have fit right in with all the rest of my studies, continuing my spiral of fear; and yet it had quite the opposite effect. I found myself riding the Golden Spiral in the opposite direction, toward peace and enlightenment. I am not saying, or implying that I am enlightened, more that I am on the path (I don’t know where on the path, I just feel that I am on it).
In January, I decided it was time to weed out addictions. I started with alcohol, moved on to TV, was temporarily successful with coffee (I think that one needs more time), wheat, red meat, and slothfulness. It is not that I never watch TV or enjoy a burger, it is just that I do so MUCH less often. I really like the idea of moderation and I am really pleased with my successes so far.
During this process I have been reading multiple books on spirituality. I have been doing that for years, but now it is so much more intense. The concepts are alive for me now. I can read a short paragraph and get more out of those few words than I have gotten out of entire books in the past. I think the most powerful book was “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle.
Yeah, I jumped on the Oprah bandwagon, and I don’t regret it. I had started recording her shows in January and watching the ones that were of interest, usually about one each week. She started talking about the book and the webcast she was going to be making available. I figured it couldn’t hurt (actually at the time I thought of myself as pretty spiritually advanced, I assumed that the book would have something I could learn from it, although I doubted it would be much... LOL), so I ordered the book and read it. I loved it!
One thing I have definitely learned about myself is that before reading the book, the image I had of myself was so warped that now all I can do is laugh outloud at how obnoxious I must have seemed to everyone around me. I offer my deepest apologies to anyone and everyone that I ever interacted with. What a boorish, self-righteous, abhorrent SOB I was… might still be, but now I am aware of it which makes it much easier to remove. The webcast is still ongoing, two more classes. I really enjoy listening to and watching Mr. Tolle, he seems so at peace and excited about Life.
In any case, all of this personal change is the inspiration for this blog. Several times a week new concepts become very clear to me and then I call up my sister to tell her all about it. She says she enjoys hearing about it all, and I trust she is being honest with me, it just seems like there may be a different way to share my thoughts. I enjoy writing, but do not do it often. So instead of calling my sister with these new “epiphanies” I decided to write them down and put them in a blog.
I look forward to the day when I can read pages and pages of past writings and see very clearly the direction of my path.
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